In the beginning
I had a dreadful revelation recently. If the story of my life was made into a film, I always imagined that I would be the leading ladies jolly, overweight and loyal chum. And then I realised that this is not the case. I would be the unpleasant villain, the annoying noisy neighbour who is murdered early on in an episode of Midsummer Murders. In short, the character people do not like- not plucky, not funny, still overweight And mean . How did this become my life. I can provide a perfectly reasonable rationale- Mother dead ages 48 from breast cancer, when I am aged 8. Fathers sudden decline into serious mental illness, meaning I left his care aged 15. I was very angry. With everyone. And I have never come to terms with this story, my story I am 57 now and retired at 53 due to my own mental health issues . I am married to a man with limitless patience, who does his best to love me when I am not loveable. Or likeable. I have health anxiety. I am fixated on health and with the certain kn